Everybody wants to be in a meaningful friendship. Having a meaningful friendship is one of the most fulfilling things you can have especially since humans are sociable by nature. The process can be quite easy if you take the proper steps to create them. So let’s get to it.

Everyone Wants Love

One thing that you need to understand is that everyone wants to be loved. No matter what they do or how they act. Some people may not express it very well, while others know exactly how to express it. The truth is everybody wants to be loved.

This is important to know because having this realization makes the steps of creating a friendship much easier. A meaningful friendship is in essence a form of loving an individual. So knowing that everyone has the desire to have it significantly increases your odd of finding it. Using the proper details to create a meaningful relationship can be done by anyone.

I always remind myself that everyone wants love, by saying everyone has a mother. It reminds me that no matter what stage they are in their lives the desire to be loved is always there.

Find Similarities

Having similarities with a person will make building the friendship an easier process. Finding ways that you and other people are similar helps to build a bond with one another. Think about your last friend. How close were you? Did you both have a lot in common? Having similarities just makes friendship easier.

The best part about this is I am almost sure you have similarities to 99% of the people you talk to. People just do not realize it sometimes. Finding similarities to people it is best to actively listen to someone. Take the time to let them tell their story, and ask them questions about their story.

Make it about them first. Take the time to understand them. You will be surprised how many similarities you may find between the two of you when you have your first conversation.

My dad always told me you have two ears and one mouth. So listen first and talk second. As I have gotten older the process has become even easier for me. The more I listen to what people want, and listen to their story. The more I realize just how similar we really are at the end of the day.

Give it a try go to a stranger and strike up a conversation. Ask them about themselves, and see what becomes of the conversation. One thing to take into consideration is every meaningful friendship was a stranger at one time.

Actively Listen And Empathize

This is so powerful when it comes to really building a connection with somebody. Take the time to not only listen, but to care about what you are listening to. Think about it. You would want someone to care about what you were talking about, right? The same is true with them (similarity right there). They want to know that someone is actively listening, and taking the time to understand them.

How can you truly listen to someone when you are busy waiting for your turn to talk. They will sense that. You want to feel important and they want to feel important as well. So make them feel important and they will return the favor. This is honestly on of my favorite parts of a friendship. I am giving them my attention. Listening to them intently and taking the time to understand their story. Not only in my shoes, but in their shoes as well. Giving that kind of energy to other’s will make them want to openly return the favor to you. They will reciprocate the same energy that you gave to them.

It can be a difficult task to understand an individual who does not first take the time to understand you. So do just that, take the time to deeply listen and understand a person’s story. Listen actively and ask real meaningful questions if their story allows for it. Building meaningful friendships is about creating win-win situation. Where both parties are actively listening and empathizing with one another.

Real Friendship Takes Work

Anything worth having is going to take work. Work is only a bad thing if it is something you do not like to do though. All work really means is energy, and if you have a friendship that is truly meaningful giving energy to it feels good.

Building a meaningful friendship may be hard at first only because it does take more work to start off. Taking the time to get to know a stranger and keep up with a person you barely even know may feel like you are putting a lot of work into it, and you will be.

Think about building a perfect body. It takes a lot of work. You have to eat right, train right, get enough sleep, and work hard. It won’t just come to you because you want it really bad. It comes with the work you put in, but imagine how ecstatic the person would be when they got to their goal. Not only that but once they got there, they would be at the maintenance stage. Which does not take nearly as much energy.

The same is true for a meaningful relationship. It takes a lot of work at first. So it is empirical that the person you are trying to create the meaningful friendship with be a good fit for you. You would not want to put a ton of work into a friendship that the other person is unwilling to put any work into.

So choose wisely, because a meaningful relationship really is a two-way street. Both have to be willing to work to make the friendship truly meaningful. A solid friendship comes down to creating a win-win situation for both of you.


It is something so easy to do. Yet sometimes people rarely do it. Smile at people and watch how they will be more inclined to strike up a conversation with you. I am not talking about one of those cheesy fake smiles though. That is enough to make people want to avoid you. I am talking about a genuine I love life kind of smile. The kind of smile that will brighten up someone’s day in a way that makes them want to smile back.

What if you don’t feel like smiling? I always say there is always a good time to smile, unless something very bad has just happened in your life. Other than that a smile is something you can always put on your face. Think of a funny show you like, or remember a great memory you had. Take the time to smile and watch how people will reciprocate the feeling.

A good genuine smile is contagious. Have you ever had a bad day, and someone genuinely smiled at you? All of a sudden your day isn’t so bad. So give others the same. If a person doesn’t reciprocate the smile, just move on until someone does.

One thing I notice when I walk in the grocery store is people can really feel my mood. If I am in a bad mood they become avoidant, but if I am in a good mood with a smile, They are more inclined to say hello. The only way to find people to become good friends with is to meet people. The only way you meet people is when they want to be around you. Meaning make yourself an approachable person. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well a smile a day, makes other’s say hey. I would like to know if you think of a better one. Please leave it in the comment below if you do haha.

Enjoy The Friendship

Finding someone who start to hang out with, make sure to really enjoy it. Be in the moment with that friend. One of the best feelings is taking a moment to really appreciate the friendship fully. Appreciating it, they will appreciate it as well. Speak kindly of your friend, take care of your friend, and most of all love your friend.

Have you ever talked badly about someone? How did you feel afterwords? Did they ever find out about it? Reverse those habits if you have them. You would not like it if someone talked badly about you. Now if someone talked highly of you how good would you feel. The same is true for other’s.

Treat your friendship with respect. Enjoy it to the fullest. Love and cherish it. Doing these things will only strengthen the bond of the friendship. A strong bond means a meaningful friendship. It is an amazing feeling knowing someone really cares about you. So take the time to care about them and build a friendship that will last for a lifetime.

We Are Mirrors

This relates back to empathy. Notice how the best connections are the one’s that can mirror us. When, someone feels what you are feeling the bond between the two can be extremely powerful.

Mirroring your friends helps you relate to one another even more so. Let’s say you have a friend going through a hard time. Sometimes there is nothing you can say to make it better. You can however feel what they feel. I say to my friends going through a hard time I will cry when you cry. Which is a way of saying I will be there for you. I will mirror your action because that is what you need right now.

Healthy friendships will do this for one another. Being there as support to stand up for your friend until they can stand up for themselves again. It is important to realize I am not saying to become your friends crutch. They is a large difference between being a support system and being an enabler. When a friend goes into a dark time mirror the feeling. Do not victimize them and give them the poor me or the yes-man/woman mentality. You want a friend who will be there for you, and also be honest with you when you need it.

Doing this will let your friend know that you will be there for them, and feel for them, but also that you respect them enough to be a real friend in good times and bad. Making it a true and meaningful friendship.

Sometimes your friend might just need a pick me up, and your good mood could be what is needed to get them out of a funk. Being in a happy state can help put others in a happy state. Knowing this is powerful for everyone to know. Since we mirror one another create the most positive mirror you can. Of course everything is situational. So be aware enough to realize each situation is different, but do your best to be a support system for your friends. They will return the favor and be a support system for you. Sounds like another win-win situation to me.


Love is such a powerful 4 letter word. Building a meaningful friendship everyone knows love must be involved. Think about what love can really do. If we love someone correctly, you can forgive a person for the mistakes that they have made.

Love should definitely be a two-way street though. There is no point in having a friendship with someone that does not love you back. Truly loving someone means that you will be there for one another and you will grow together. Always learning and growing. Making the relationship stronger with each breath taken.

A true meaningful relationship takes a lot of love, and I mean healthy love. Having unhealthy love for someone doesn’t do anything for anyone, but healthy love is another things. The kind of love were you know no matter what that person is going to be there for you, and you will be there for them. That kind of love is the best. Love will bond a friendship unlike anything else. It can really be the base of where a friendship starts. Having love helps everything else falls into place.

You will want to make friendship work because of the love you have for them. They will return the favor because of the love they have for you. It really is a joyous place to be. Knowing you have love for one another. Sometimes love can be so strong it cannot be expressed through words. It is a feeling so strong that you and your friend know it is there. There is no question, it comes from the actions we take, the things we say, and the feelings we have for our very best friends.

So make sure to love your most meaningful friendship. Let your friends know it not only with your actions, but by telling them from time to time. People want to know that they are loved. It is important to remember this fact and to express it.

Meaningful Friendships

I know I covered a lot, but a meaningful friendship takes a lot. I will tell you though it is so worth it to build them though.  Meaningful friendships are one of the most fulfilling things a person can have. I have many myself and my wife is included in that list. You could end up marrying your best friend if you follow this steps, and I will tell you it is all worth it.

To be honest building friendship doesn’t even feel like work. Enjoying the company of others is truly a blessing. Putting the work into building a solid foundation for a friendship is a blessing. It is such a fulfilling experience for you and for them when it is built correctly.

Give of yourself in life and others will give to you. A meaningful friendship is truly a selfless act on both sides. It really is the gift that keeps on giving. Looking at your friends looking back on your past, enjoying the present, and being excited about the future. Sounds like a great place to be to me.

I truly love all of my friends and the many friendships I have created. I wish you the best of luck in your journey, and I hope that you build many meaningful friendships in your life as well. Cherish them fully and enjoy the bonds you create.

Much love and remember, smile 🙂






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Comments (4)

  1. Clancy


    Friendships… an important subject for everyone and you have covered it extremely effectively. Your book recommendations on the sidebar are extremely value adding and outstanding texts. How to win friends and influence people is one of my favorite books the in depth analysis about appropriately handling situations in life for the maximum benefit for everyone. Tim Ferris is a very value adding and reputable author also, one of the smartest men on the planet! Overall Awesome!

    • Clifford Starks


      Thank you Clancy, I am glad you liked my article on Friendships. I also agree with you about Tim Ferris, he is a very brilliant individual indeed. I love his books, he has amazing insight with his writings. I do hope you stay around to see how my site develops, because you have an opinion that I would truly value.

  2. Flavia


    I think as humans we would not survive without human interaction. Friendships are so important and as you get older, you realise that its not about how may friends you have but the quality of your friendships.

    I also love what you said, to listen first and then talk second. People love to talk about themselves and people want to feel like they have been heard and valued. By letting them talk about themselves, they will feel appreciated and this makes conversations flow easily.

    Friendships does take work, and its so important to appreciate the people we have in our lives.

    • Clifford Starks


      Yes Flavia, I am glad you agree. Human interaction and connection are truly important for an individual to thrive. Thank you for the comment, and I hope you have a blessed day.

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