What Is Your Pain
Knowing what your pain may be is the start of the dialog that one would have to have with themselves to figure out what they need to do next. It can oftentimes be difficult to accept pain, because one can feel vulnerable when they do so. Doing this though is not to create a world of vulnerability, but create a place of strength.
So ask yourself the difficult question. What pain have you experienced in life, how has it affected you, and what will you do about it?
Facing Your Pain
Finding and accepting that you have pain is one thing, but facing it is another thing all together. Sometimes people want to pretend that they do not have any problems or issues in life. Almost like if I act like they are not there then I won’t have to worry about it.
The truth is that if you pretend that it is not there it will only get bigger. If you face it head on you can rise above your pain instead of letting it take control of you. Having the strength to look your pain in the eyes and saying that I am strong enough to handle this is a truly empowering thing to have.
You Don’t Have To Do It Alone
Realizes that even though it is your personal pain, you do not have to deal with it by yourself. You just have to acknowledge that it is there first. Then you can decide the best way of going about it. There are many ways you can go about this. Your friends, family, therapist, and other options are available.
What ever you decide, remind yourself that this is your journey, and you will continue to grow and get stronger from it. Just make sure to take the necessary steps to do so.
My Personal Story
My pain actually comes from my biological father leaving me at a very young age. I was about 6 years old at the time. I will say that my pain did not manifest itself until later on in my life though. Sometimes that is how it works. You just have to do your best in life to be self-aware, because you never really know when it will hit.
I did not feel it until I had a son of my own. Once I had my son I wanted to make sure that I would do everything for him. Now some fathers would say that is an admirable thing to do. Every father should love their child as much as they can, and the truth that is correct, but there is one problem with it.
There is a difference between healthy love and unhealthy love. Think about it this way. As a parent you never want anything bad to happen to your kid, but what if you put your child in a position were they never have consequences. Always protecting your child from every little thing in life.
As parents, it is are job to protect are child absolutely. There is a difference between protecting and condoling though, and I realize I wanted to do that, so my child would never feel the pain that I felt. It is my job as a father to help my son become a man. Not pamper him so he stays a child forever.
It can be tough at times too, but it is what is right for him and for myself. Being a good father is about finding that balance and doing what is best for your child.
Even with acknowledgment I still catch myself doing it from time to time. Just like anything it takes practice to not let your pain become your weakness. Your pain can become your strength if you allow it to be.
I forgave my biological father a long time ago. Which has made doing right by my son easier. I know that living in a world of abundance is absolutely important when it comes with dealing with these type of situations. Although at times it can be easier said than done.
Fear based thinking is, I will never make a mistake, I have to be perfect, I will make sure my child loves me.
Abundance thinking is, I will be the best parent I can be, I will continue to learn and grow, I will love my child the best I can.
Both similar yet different. So face your pain, and find a way to build strength from them instead of weakness.